Tired and confused. No wonder it past 12 o’clock. The words I am writing are not really my own. My thoughts jump much aster tahn I can type, and my typing is crazy wrong. I write with words I have recenetly read and seen. They are repetitions of things. Do I really think like that? Where does the meaning changes interchanges and exchanges between my thoughts and what my fingers do. In what language do I actually think? Is it English, Latvian – do my thought have a language or do I think in images – are the thoughts a cross between images and text – symbols that gain meaning to others only through text and image. They are not either but there is no other way of expressing. And expressing is ever so importnat. Expressing to myself more than anyone else. But how does that make sense? The others are only in the way to understand what I mean and what I want. It is all about myself. Narcissus is yet just another person, we all are Narcissus, there is no exeption. We are born alone, we die alone, we live alone. The others are only reflections of our own selves. They are in the way for us to understand ourselves. The text is image and image is text. They both deploy symbols to be understood. Undrestood, reflection and taken out from the constant flood of thoughts. Thoughts that only gain meaning in text and image. They give us revelation when seen from outside. They need to ebe ejected, thrown out with energy, they break the page, the air, the silence, the emptiness. They cross it and leave a trace, yet unseen in any other way. They leave legacy, they live seperate to us. They have their own lives. They are born out of us. After they have no relation to us, they gain diffeent faces, interpretation, duplicates one after another. Transformations that occur from the image, gives impact to the image itself and to ourselves. The images and text transforms the way we think and transfords itself. We see it differently just by seeing it in the first place. The constant changes require a dialogue. Dialogue in which the text changes and the image therefore changing ourselves with it. There is need for both to see our own face, face that we cannot see in any other way. The text and image are not visual, they require all senses to make a sense.
Free-writing, 31st July